I Need To Get Something Off My Chest.

I feel like crap today. I feel like I've been mean this summer, which wasn't my intention. Honest. I wasn't too nice to several people, and I feel horrible. Which is one of the reasons why I closed down ATS; because of all the rude things I'd said to people who didn't deserve them.

I only showed a few people this blog. I only told a couple so I could try and make sure that my negative emotions were under control before I started blogging freely with the world watching again. But they read my first post. And all four people I showed hated my blog. Hated it. I felt horrible. Was I kidding myself? Was I pretending to be happy? Surely not. I am trying to be a happier person. I will be happier. So I tried to accept that their comments were just constructive criticism, and that they were missing my deep thoughts, my intricate sentences that wove together with the way I was feeling to create a full and rich picture that they could cling to. I feel bad that I ripped that away from them, without a warning or anything. I do, honestly, feel bad. But, I hope that they understand that I did have my reasons for deleting ATS, whether they understand them or not.

I am reluctant, almost to keep blogging. I'm afraid to share most of my thoughts, which is why I've taken to writing a physical, pen-to-paper diary. I'm happy with it, even if my hands often hurt and throb after writing down my thoughts.

So, this is like a flash from the past. It's odd, actually... I feel reluctant, like I said. So, this is going to be happy, like I said. But this is going to be much happier still. I'm going to be happy.

On a happier note, I did remember the password to my new e-mail... That's all sorted out, so any "inquiries" should be sent directly to smilecrocodile23@aim.com

Yep. I'm happy.
Yep. I'm sorry.
Yep. I'm going to move on from it.

And you know what else I'm going to do?
Smile, Smile, Crocodile.